A Moment
by northernexposure
Summary: Sometimes, when she looks at him…


**A Moment**

**A/N:** OK, so there's this beautiful little gif bouncing around Tumblr at the moment. It's less than three seconds of screen time, a head and shoulder shot of Janeway turning to look at Chakotay, and for my money the look on her face is just unbelievably eloquent. It made me wonder what was going through her head in all those moments when everything we ever wanted to hear from both of them is written on her face.

Thank you to the fab MissyHissy3 for the beta read. Y'all are reading _Reassessment_, right? Because it kicks ass.

* * *

When the door chime to her ready room sounds, she looks up with a start, frowning as she registers the time. As usual, the passage of hours has eluded her, and without meaning to, Kathryn Janeway has missed lunch. Again. For the third day running. It is therefore not at all difficult to deduce who is at her door.

"Come in!" she calls, leaning back in her chair, a smile already on her face.

Chakotay takes two strides into the room and stops as the door hushes shut behind him. He is also smiling, but his eyes rest on her face only briefly before sweeping over the desk in front of her and then travelling towards the low table that stands in front of the sofa below the viewport. Both are perilously empty of the items he is searching for.

"Seriously?" her first officer asks, looking back at her with a shake of his head. "You have a replicator. Here, in this room. You don't even need to go to the mess hall."

Janeway stands, her hand trailing along the edge of her desk as she moves from behind it. "You don't know I haven't eaten," she counters. "I could have recycled the dishes."

He looks at her. "Did you?"

"Yes," she says, decisively.

"Are you lying to me, Captain?"

"Yes," she says, just as decisively.

He sighs in exasperation, but she can see him repressing another smile. Chakotay walks to the replicator and without even asking her what she wants, says, "Vegetable soup, blended, hot, in a mug."

There is a brief pause as the computer complies and the thick beverage appears on the materialization plate.

"It's that easy," he says, handing it to her. "Order it in a mug and you don't even have to stop working. Just stop forgetting to eat, Kathryn. The last thing the crew needs is a malnourished Captain. Or do you want me to get Neelix to make house calls? Because I'm sure he'd be more than willing to personally bring you lunch every day."

"That's some threat, Commander," she says, taking the mug and walking to the sofa. "Some might call it… insubordination."

"Most would call it doing my job," he says. "Actually, scratch that. When we get back to the Alpha Quadrant I'm expecting a medal for services rendered _beyond _the call of duty."

He follows her to the sofa and sits at her left, turning slightly to face her as she takes mouthful of the soup.

"Mmm," she mumbles.

"Good?"

"Yes, actually."

"Hungry?"

"Starving. Thank you."

"Promise me that tomorrow you won't forget to eat?"

"I don't do it deliberately. I just get caught up in work. And this new slipstream drive – if we can get it to work… we could be home in _weeks_." She sighs, resting the mug against her thigh and leaning her head against the cushioned back of the sofa. Above her, the stars are as unknown as they have been for the past five years. "Imagine that, Chakotay. We could be home, in less than a month. All this could be over."

He says nothing for a moment. "What are you most looking forward to?" he asks. "When we get back?"

"Oh, I don't know," Janeway says, as she sits up again. "There are so many things that I-"

The words die in her throat as she looks at his face. It is turned towards the stars, looking away from her, out at this great expanse they have to cross to find their way home. The angular lines of his cheek, the strong cut of his jaw, the flawless nature of his skin, the fullness of his lips… they all hit her, just like that, an unexpected sledgehammer to the unsuspecting heart, and suddenly the only thing she can think of that she wants is the one thing she hasn't ever admitted - can't ever admit, out here, anyway – her desire for.

Janeway, speech having deserted her, glances away as he turns his head, aware that a faint flush has found its way onto her face. A second later she looks back again – she can't help it – and finds him watching her. His gaze is serious for a second, and she has the distinct and horrifying impression that he has seen right through her. Then he smiles, the warmth of it entirely too delicious for her state of mind.

"There are just so many things," she says again, overcoming the palpable urge to lean forward and just _kiss him, damn it_. Janeway raises the mug to her lips. "It's hard to list them all."

Chakotay nods. "Well, with any luck, you won't have to wait much longer," he says, resting both hands on his thighs as he prepares to get up. "If this new drive works, I mean." He stands, and she does the same.

"Well, for that to happen, I really need to get back to work," she tells him, leaning down to set the now empty mug on the table.

"Apologies for the interruption, Captain," he says, with another smile. "But it has to be said… if you had remembered to eat of your own accord, I wouldn't have had to bother you."

She can't help it. Her hand is half way to his chest before her brain has even given the order. Her fingers rest over his heart, where she can feel the steady thump as it beats. Janeway wonders whether there will ever come a day when she will tell him how reassuring that is. Just feeling his heart, beating under her fingers. "It's never a bother, Commander. Thank you."

Chakotay smiles down at her for another second. Two, perhaps. Then he nods, and steps away.

By the time the doors shut behind him, she is at the replicator, recycling the mug. She watches as it disappears, its atoms feathering into formlessness, ready to become something else.

[END]


End file.
